It's been roughly a week and 4 days since our boot camp at Indra. I know I should be the last person who becomes paranoid but I really can't help it. I feel like it's ages already. I don't know if I'm still getting the offer. Le cry.

Posting that nameplate on my FB wall gave people the wrong idea. I still haven't gotten the offer yet; it was just a 3-day training to evaluate our skills and if we are capable of learning and adapting easily for a short span of time. People already congratulated me for winning the trophy, but I guess I'm still far from the finish line. And I feel guilty and annoyed that they keep on asking me how much my offer was, when will I start, etc. It gives me this unwanted pressure that I must have the job or else, I'll be suffering from my own humiliation of declaring something too early.

Earlier this afternoon, another company phoned me and asked me if I was still looking for a job. Hesitant as I was, I said yes anyway. So they are expecting me this coming Wednesday at 9am for exam and interview. Job position: I have no idea. I confirmed because I thought I'm just wasting time waiting for something that isn't totally aware I'm waiting.. and I can't wait for three bagpiping* months again! Oh wait, what are we talking about? :)))

Going back, I haven't replied to the email and text the HR sent me because I was still hesitating. I went up to my bed and took a nap when a text from a friend woke me up:

"When you want to attract something in your life, make sure your actions don't contradict your desires."

The quote struck me. It was like the universe was trying to tell me not to doubt and have faith. I, of all people, should understand this secret language only awesome people know about (kidding). But here I am, messing up with my own game, seemed like I never learned anything for the past four years. I lack inspiration/motivation and I should take note of everything again.

Basically, why should I accept an invitation from a company if I already have a job waiting for me? :) Now that I accepted the invitation, it's pretty much saying that I didn't get the job and I have to look for one again. Actions must not contradict your desires. And I just violated this theory.

Remember to remember. I am the master of my own thoughts. I am happy and grateful that I'm only waiting for the confirmation of my job offer at Indra when other people are still out there seeking for job opportunities. I must feel good.

*Bagpiping is a euphenism I got from HIMYM. Gahd I love that show very much; I can watch the whole series for the whole day.

Labels: indra, thoughts, work