Cheers to my 5am thoughts last night.

I couldn't sleep yet and my mind began wandering through different portals inside my subconscious. It's pretty normal to think about things once in a while, especially when something reminded you of them.

Every time I open my drawer, the first thing I would see is that ball-shaped styrofoam someone gave me three years ago. It would instantly remind me of this totally amazing person I met; he's the sweetest and has has this way of making me laugh by teasing me playfully and among other things. Most importantly, he's a good friend and thus became one of my inspirations to change my bad habits and be a better person. He truly made a great impact in my life and I will never forget about this person. Although the ball doesn't only remind me of the person, but also my strong feelings for him..

.. and the little hope I still have, waiting for things to fall into the right place and maybe one day the timing would be perfect and things would rearrange for us. For once we'll be both happy because everything finally worked out, but I know these thoughts only exist in my head. It's just that sometimes when you can't sleep at night, memories begin to come back and the next thing you know, you're in the deepest, darkest room of your sleeping Pandora box. No worries, I'm still in good shape. :)

I won't lie to myself that yes, I still hope things didn't end up this way. I may sound selfish but I wish you never really got that invitation.

And I wish I had the courage to say all those things that kept me up last night.

Labels: lovelife, thoughts