I'll pick Tinker Bell over Rapunzel, Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. :)

Tinker Bell always loved Peter Pan. At times, she flew away because Peter Pan
had Wendy. But she always came back.

She did not want Peter Pan to be her prince charming, or her babysitter,
or her drumbeater, or her fireman, or her lifesaver.

She loved. And she's well aware that love isn't about being loved back.

Every woman who still fancies herself as Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, or any other damsel in distress should learn that from her. :)

p.s.

Love is one thing. Having a relationship is another.

Mahal mo sya. Subalit, kung hindi nya natatapatan pagmamahal mo, hindi kayo.

Labels: lovelife, prose

Robin:

I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn't exist. One day, Don and I are moving into together, and the next thing I know, he's on a plane to Chicago. It just... ended. And, no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We will always be-   (Shot to Ted giving a lecture)

Ted:

Unfinished. Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that's not usually how it goes. Usually it isn't a speeding bus that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built. Most of the time it's just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It's only once you've stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it's always there. And until you finish it, it will always be... (Ted runs from the classroom)

—Robin and Ted recount how their great loves (Don and Architecture) are unfinished.

I was with my friend Juvy earlier today and one of the topics we talked about was you-know-who. She brought it up in relation to our current topic and asked me how things between us are. I said we already lost communication and we never saw each other again. A simple, "wala na." is just enough. And while I was going to tell her the story of the last time we saw each other, which dated back in February..


..
..
..


I can't remember anything from then. :)

Future Ted:	...And even though it didn't happen right away...   (Shot to Robin watching TV then calls Don but a Spanish woman answers the phone. Robin finds she has forgotten his number.)  ...Robin finally got some closure too.
Robin:	Sorry, wrong number. (Smiles) Finished with that. (Turns off the TV)

Yeah, finished with that. Finally, so am I. :)

Labels: himym, lovelife

Labels: blacksheeps, gg, gif, gpoy, himym, life, lovelife, random, rants, work

Funny how it's been already a year since that particular epic day which bred perhaps an immortal controversy in my last year of college and concluded the story of our "love team". In fact, taking down that memory lane still gives me that almost same feeling when I first heard the truth after two years of our friendship.

July 21, 2011.

It was Thursday, I remember; and our only class was Strategic Mgmt from 6PM-9PM. We were about to have our second quiz that day so most of us went early to school to study. I was with five of my friends and we were reading our notes and reviewers in our classroom. Then two of our guy classmates/friends came in and joined us. Reading and studying weren't really our kind of thing so at the same time we were laughing, talking, teasing and just making most of the remaining time before 6PM. I still sort of recall how that conversation started. We were making a joke about Kerry being a kikay slash lesbian with her kunwaring GF, Kay, in their usual pretend game. We were teasing them about their "gay relationship" and the spotlight was turned to me. The baby asked me about this close friend and our supposedly status. I answered without feeling malicious whatsoever. But he insisted the topic that became a hot-seat interrogation with the rest of my friends being the audience. I still answered in a really innocent manner and I was starting to feel that this Q&A portion leads to digging up a hidden treasure unaware of being dug up. After a series of statements, the close friend came inside the room. They asked him to sit beside me and now, both of us were being squeezed for the truth. It took us like 15 more minutes or something and to be honest, I was already panicking about what's really happening until.. he finally confirmed the issue. It became the news of the night, even for a week. Even considered as one of the biggest life-changing shocking revelations to date during my college years. I didn't know. I was completely clueless about him. All this time we were playing around on being an item and somewhere along that crazy little pretensions, showbiz-like sweetness and our good old day bondings.. he tripped unintentionally.

Both of us didn't pass the quiz btw. We were too distracted about what happened earlier lol. Wrapping this whole thing up, we failed the quiz, then we finally had the talk (before and after the quiz though), and we decided to stay friends and pretend like none of this happened. The next few days, it was a bit awkward but we managed to overcome that because we couldn't stay mad or awkward too long. We're really that close and sometimes, my friends would imagine us being together for real. But yeah, it's just another lesson we all needed to learn at that time.

It's been a year and it seems like yesterday. Good old days indeed.

Bottomline: There are things not worth taking the risk and just be contented on what kind of special friendly bonding that you have, because it's better that way. :)

"Anong nangyari? Nagjojoke lang naman tayo eh! Adik ka! Sineryoso mo masyado! Hahaha *hits him with a rolled paper*"

"Eh ikaw kasi! Masyado kang sweet. Eh tao lang naman din ako.. di natin naiiwasan, isang araw, nahuhulog tayo." - not the exact words. 

This song came to my head when typing this entry. ;)
Love Team - Itchyworms

Labels: college, lovelife, ust

This perfectly describes every girl who desperately wants to move on from her past-- either an ex-lover, infatuation, first love, true love, secret love, forbidden love, love at the wrong time, or its other forms.

I was catching up with a friend through FB and guess what. Late night conversations often dig deeper revelations of your heart's desires. And it's past midnight.

We started the conversation with simpler things and slowly though predictable, we ended up talking about her past love. A love she felt first for about 10 years that remains hidden up to this very day.. especially to the person involved. The last time we saw each other, I tried helping her make a decision about her problem by card reading. Still an amateur though, it was sort of a practice for me to make my own interpretations of the cards. Overall there was no need for the cards anymore because just by listening to her story already predicts the solution. The cards served as a guide or a confirmation for us. I told her to stop wasting time and let things go. She agreed firmly.

As much as possible I was trying to lighten things up during our conversation, not because I was not in the mood to have heart-to-heart talks but I did not want to see her or at least feel like she is going back to stage one after all the progress she has been making. I guess I've learned that sometimes despite all the efforts you have been trying to forget this special someone, something always brings you back to them. Whether a chat like this, a place, a food, a song or a book or basically anything that you will find a connection to them. You then feel vulnerable afterwards but what you do about it will impact what's next.

Honestly after I finished reading her reply, I also had a quick flashback-slash-summary of my own story. But I didn't let it get to me because I know it will be a waste of time thinking about things used to haunt my sleepless nights like an insect bite. You feel the urge to scratch the itchiness and once you take notice and give in, it will hurt you more and you scratch more and then you will never stop.. until you fight it. And it's crazy comparing love matters with an insect bite lol. Weird mind, I have.

Although I thought the same thing. It will be a major achievement when I get to see this person and poof! No more butterflies in my stomach. Not even a breathtaking moment with this dreamy effect and flowers and birds and awkward eye contact and the world stops and it's just the two of you in the moment and you both lean in and oh, I could go on for more. I want that time where a day will be over without the person crossing my mind. And I'm still working on that, sadly.

So we made a bet, if they meet this year's Christmas and she feels completely fine, meaning she has moved on, then I will treat her something. Otherwise, she gets mesmerized by him and she will treat me instead. Hohoho. :>

BG music while writing this entry: Gravity - Sara Bareilles. Para feel na feel ko 'yung emosyon. Hahaha!

Labels: blacksheeps, friends, lovelife

Cheers to my 5am thoughts last night.

I couldn't sleep yet and my mind began wandering through different portals inside my subconscious. It's pretty normal to think about things once in a while, especially when something reminded you of them.

Every time I open my drawer, the first thing I would see is that ball-shaped styrofoam someone gave me three years ago. It would instantly remind me of this totally amazing person I met; he's the sweetest and has has this way of making me laugh by teasing me playfully and among other things. Most importantly, he's a good friend and thus became one of my inspirations to change my bad habits and be a better person. He truly made a great impact in my life and I will never forget about this person. Although the ball doesn't only remind me of the person, but also my strong feelings for him..

.. and the little hope I still have, waiting for things to fall into the right place and maybe one day the timing would be perfect and things would rearrange for us. For once we'll be both happy because everything finally worked out, but I know these thoughts only exist in my head. It's just that sometimes when you can't sleep at night, memories begin to come back and the next thing you know, you're in the deepest, darkest room of your sleeping Pandora box. No worries, I'm still in good shape. :)

I won't lie to myself that yes, I still hope things didn't end up this way. I may sound selfish but I wish you never really got that invitation.

And I wish I had the courage to say all those things that kept me up last night.

Labels: lovelife, thoughts