"Soon it unfolds who we are in this masquerade of
stars."
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"Soon it unfolds who we are in this masquerade of
stars."
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The Writer |
According to the show I watched last Sunday, 2013 is the year of new beginnings for most of us. A great way to start anew especially during its earlier months.I snorted while typing those words. New beginnings - maybe yes, maybe no. Giving a quick recall of 2012, I was employed by my current company as a technical writer. I proofread, edit, write, read, translate, email, and the cycle goes on like a sick carousel. This new world gave me a sweet welcome at first, offered me a fresh start in a different field where no one knows my past, promised me possible learning and character growth; however on my 2nd month, sadly this world turned upside down and poured sour milk all over my head. How unfortunate the start of my career went, I thought to myself. Despite the pros I listed mentally: travel/location, schedule, non-programming tasks, salary, upon which I could ask for nothing more - lies a thin line that separates me from true happiness: Doubt. A selfish thought frantically longing for peace of mind and allowing my ghosts to haunt me every minute passing by. With doubt, fear is always associated. Fear of taking the wrong detour in life. Fear of not surviving this journey. Fear of being lost in this mad world. Fear of failure. Above all, Fear of not being good enough. To speak the truth, I don't have the right to complain about my work. I know there are millions of people who are much more unlucky than me, says Dr. Seuss. As much as I would love to love this so-called "blessing", my heart keeps sinking and it's getting harder to breathe. Everyday I wake up not wanting to get up from my bed and prepare for another day at work. Everyday I'm allowing my mind to drift off its own and wander wherever it wishes to and I find myself over thinking what-if's and what nots. Everyday I'm counting days like a guilty inmate in his cell. Everyday... it feels like I'm wasting time and efforts, simply because I'm not happy. :'( If there's nothing to ask for a work like this, then why do I feel as if there's something missing? .. and the universe slapped my face to awaken another persona inside me: The Writer within. It came to me quietly and slowly, like the sun peeking through the thickest clouds after a damn raging storm. Maybe that's the reason why I was sent here, maybe it's a dormant talent of some sort, maybe things will be worthy enough to travel down this long road ahead. Maybe I was too discouraged that I could not see the goodness in it and what lies in the near future. Maybe, hopefully after two years when people ask me what I want in my life.. I will know as I have finally overcome my doubts and fears. Most importantly, Life has brought me one of the greatest manifestations of the nurtured soul - the sense of fulfillment. And this story marks the new beginning towards contentment and genuine happiness. ~ Tinkerbell |
I'll pick Tinker Bell over Rapunzel, Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. :)Tinker Bell always loved Peter Pan. At times, she flew away because Peter Pan had Wendy. But she always came back. She did not want Peter Pan to be her prince charming, or her babysitter, or her drumbeater, or her fireman, or her lifesaver. She loved. And she's well aware that love isn't about being loved back. Every woman who still fancies herself as Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, or any other damsel in distress should learn that from her. :) p.s. Love is one thing. Having a relationship is another. Mahal mo sya. Subalit, kung hindi nya natatapatan pagmamahal mo, hindi kayo. Feel Good |
After two
hours, I finished another collage. Supposedly it was a doodle sketchy
type but I ended up again with something random.. although this time, it
has a theme or a story. An original one.
"There's something more than meets the eye.", says the opening line of the Book Emily is reading. Unlike other girls, she likes to spend her time pretty much all by herself. She goes up the hill, with the overlooking view of the little town she lives in. "Hey Ems, Sarah and I will play dolls at my house. Daddy bought me new toys to play with! Why don't you join us?" And for the nth time, Emily declined. "Maybe next time, Amy. I have something important to do." "Yeah we get it. You will probably go nowhere and read your boring books again. My toys are so much better than those. Books are no fun, they only give you headache! Don't say we didn't ask you!" She exclaimed in disgust and they ran off. They never understood her passion for books and libraries. In fact, no one did. Not even her very own mother.
She sat on her favorite spot under the tree deep in the meadow, away from all the noise and distractions. She picked up a daisy beside her and smelled the sweet fragrance of the flower. She closed her eyes in peace and felt her hair brushed against her face as the wind blows. The weather was just right; it was one of those afternoons that easily took her away from the world. Nothing ever would be more calm and serene.
Emily thought about things that do not normally cross young girls' minds. She took notice of the little things around her. Things seem invisible to most of us like trees, birds, the blue sky, the grassy fields and the blooming flowers. She thought why do people choose to ignore the beauty of the world. Instead they dwell their thoughts on temporary things. Meaningless temporary little things. Don't they notice how these things require their attention every time? People then have become hasty and impatient. Their minds contain too much information. "Sometimes, isn't it nice to stop for a moment and clean your head for a while? To let go of the deadweight or the baggages that continue to burden us. We are too busy with our lives that we tend to forget something along the way --- to take a break. To have our alone time in a secret place. To listen to what our heart says. To appreciate the blessings we have and be grateful. To take heed and just breathe. Breathe deeply and live with the moment. To be happy and contented."
Books.. there are books that teach you the key to happiness. The secret to life for you to do good and feel good. Emily could have played with her friends this time. But she flipped through the next page and allowed herself to embrace the colorful contents of the Book. And just like that, her mind magically wandered to a different realm.
Labels: art, compositions, designs, prose, random |
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10 years ago |
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