I'm currently inspired by the new MV of Katy Perry called "Wide Awake". I even easily identified three references of her previous MV's, such as the chest fireworks (Firework), the little girl named Katheryn (Last Friday Night) and when she punched the prince (Part of Me). I didn't really like the song when its lyric video was released on YouTube until I saw the official MV with its "Alice in Wonderland-slash-Harry Potter" theme. It really is the best video of Katy Perry so far, and a spellbinding way of ending her Teenage Dream chapter.

And because I was inspired today, I made something new! Leaving the sketchy drawn collage for awhile, I ended up surprisingly with a photo manipulation. Not to brag but I'm not even using Adobe Photoshop to create this because I don't know where to download and I'm very impatient waiting for hours to finish the installation. I must say, this one is my very first successful photomanip, thanks to DA for the images used, and it works out just as well as my previous ones. I love how the glowing effect I added on the wings and how it boosted up the color vibrance. I also added Gaussian blur thingy on the creature and her wings to come up with this oil painting effect or something. The creature looks similar to Katy Perry in her newest video, with the dark violet hair and a black dress. Lastly, the galaxy sky. :)

The story behind the image:

The creature stands in front of a forked road in the middle of a winter desert, both seem leading to nowhere in this distant planet. She's lost and unable to help herself where to go. There's nobody to call for help, except for a unicorn in the first road. She asks herself, "From here, where do I go?"

Two days earlier, I was randomly browsing through my Tumblr and I stumbled across the page of the user I was following. I read her About Me page and learned she's a student from CSB taking up Multimedia Arts.

Multimedia Arts, I recalled something from my memory lane for about four to five years ago. Right.

I was naive and young, and was rather born with this carefree happy-go-lucky attitude which can be both a blessing and a curse. I wasn't taking things seriously about what I really wanted to take in College. I thought and said to myself a few times, "whatever comes in my way". I didn't have a direction because I hoped that one day will come, I will set everything straight in my life along the way. So I heard this course called MMA. It really caught my attention since it makes use of creativity and innovation through computers. Web designing was the keyword. However someone told me some cons regarding the course (I don't know if these are true though). There were limited opportunities for this particular course in the real world not unless I will be successful enough to apply outside the country. Secondly, the materials to be used are exceptionally priceless. Given my parents' income, it's almost impractical for them to earn money that much. I didn't want to burden them in any way either so I ended up with another computer-related course. Little did I know, IS was about codes and syntax, algorithms and such, with a tinge of management. Still highly technical and analytic. I'm just lucky I even graduated on time despite my strong dislike in my course. I pushed through thinking I might actually learn to enjoy the field in the long run.

I looked up for articles and sites discussing about MMA and I realized this was the course I really wanted to pursue. I was already given some situations like the OJT part last year but I failed to notice.. or was too stubborn to care. Four years, I wasted four years of my life in terms of career choice. I should have taken that before. Who knew I might have been a CFAD student if only I took things a lot more serious? I guess it's far too late to even alter these consequences. Things are shaping up to be quite difficult than I imagined. I'm losing faith in everything else and in me.

Almost four months passed since I graduated from this course and I'm still in the current state of unemployment. Instead of enhancing my supposedly creative digital designing, I'm learning the hard way of forcing my mind analyzing and thinking out of the box to provide better solutions for clients in the IT industry. I've been praying to Him and asking for strength and guidance to continue fighting off this sinking feeling of depression. I took sometime to practice speaking for upcoming interviews. I've sent out 30+ applications both in Jobstreet and through my personal mail. Crazy as it seems, I even tried chanting spells I found in the net to attract jobs. I'm trying, sadly, my efforts weren't enough. And then it hit me..

Is it possible that I'm being tested to finally realize what I actually want? I've been letting things go wherever it leads me but I think now is the time to stop and think. There's this saying, "It's never too late to be what you actually might have been." I feel like I'm trapped in this giant labyrinth my mind has created. I'm stuck and the only way to get out is having the guts to choose which way to go. To pursue something I dislike but still considered as one of the most sought out courses today. Or to take the risk of going through unknown detours to find out if I'm really suitable in the course I feel like I was born to do.

~

Credits:
Background: [link]
Model/Creature: [link]
Wings: [link]
Forked Road: [link]
Unicorn: [link]
Glow Stars: [link]
Galaxy: Tumblr, I can't remember where I got them but thanks to the owners anyway!

Labels: art, designs, firsts, katy perry, life, photoshop, rants, work